"Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order." -Anne Wilson Schaef
When I read that quote years ago, I vowed to put the weapons down and accept that I'd never be perfect, because I was never meant to. Yet, years later, I realize my armory was more loaded than I imagined.
I woke up to text messages from my peeps asking me to check out projects they were working on. I was genuinely happy for them, but the safety on my weapons began to turn off, and the nozzles began to aim. "What are you doing Felicia? People around you are still working, break over." "That looks dope. Can yours compare?" "You need to get on that level." But. I'm not going to allow the weapons to fire. Despite whatever text messages I receive, or statuses that come across my timeline, or perfectly filtered pictures that I lay my eyes on, I have nothing to prove. Especially to myself. I am enough, always have been, and always will be. Enough is not perfect. And that's okay. My journey may not contain years of experience, or a specific title, or a mass following, or tons of money, but it does have one characteristic that I'll never find in anyone's else---it's mine. I am the only one with MY story. This is more than patting myself on the back for where I've made it to, and celebrating my victories, it's acknowledging that I'm the only one that made it THAT way.
Sometimes we need to shut off all forms of media, look ourselves in the mirror, and acknowledge that we are the best versions of ourselves that exist. We need not treat ourselves like a quilt, patching pieces together to create a marketable product. Perfection is an illusion. Holding ourselves to that standard robs us of the ability to see we are already everything we are looking for. Put the weapons down.
Until next time,