» Vessel. Voice. Visionary.

Because, its my time.

Side Piece

I'm sorry; when did being a part of "#sideni**anation" and "#sidebi**hnation" become a thing? As a matter of fact, when did being a side piece to a relationship become something to strive to, to settle in, to be comfortable with? It's nausea ting to watch people, of course of my generation/age glorify the position of being a side piece. Why? Because it's not cool. There's nothing respectable about it. It's not an accomplishment and definitely not a honor, yet I see post after post, status after status, picture after picture with comments corroborating the foolishness. What happened to our morale? Our sense of monogamy? Our pride in being someone's only, not main or number 1 of many? 

Maybe you'll say I don't understand. On the contrary I do, I've been in those shoes, both as a side piece and as a main girl. As a main girl, it crushes you. You find out your boyfriend is stepping out on you & building something else with someone. It makes you question "why", "what does she have that I don't" "what do I do that makes you wanna do that" and ultimately, "why am I not enough". It makes you feel inadequate, makes you question all the qualities you do and don't possess. It embarrasses you and puts you to shame. You constantly flip flop on whether he means enough for you to give him another chance or walk away. You try over and over to forgive but it breaks your heart because you don't know if you want to. As a side piece, the experience is not too different. At first, it's cool, maybe even cute, like "yea your man runs to me & you don't even know" or you feel good cause he tells you "you get me. She doesn't understand me the way you do". He whispers the sweet nothings in your ear & makes promises of leaving her for good to be with you. And then, reality sinks in. Time passes, and then more time, and more time, and you realize you guys were no more closer to being together than the first day. You can't ask questions like, "where are you going" when he steps out or "who's that on the phone" when it's ringing at 1am. You can't be seen with him in public, so while he's flaunting his main girl, you're off to the side, getting into your feelings, knowing you don't have any authority to voice them. You don't meet the family, the friends, the nothing. I get it. I know what it's like to be in both positions and I never want to know again. 

But why would anyone want that to be glorified? Why would anyone want to willingly sign up for that? For a life in the unknown? Having "hoes" isn't it. Being a side piece isn't it. Grow up. Make up your mind. Act like a responsible adult. By signing up to be a side piece, you settle for way less than you're worth. You rob someone of the opportunity to love you and only you with the all of them and treat you how you should be treated, like royalty. By getting a side piece, you string along someone who thinks they're getting the all of you, not allowing them to be free because they deserve better. Either position isn't fair, and it just isn't worth it. Love yourself enough to love yourself and not settle. 

Side pieces are not, will not, and have never been something to attain to. Stop.