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Because, its my time.

When You Wish For A Time Machine

In the last three weeks, three things that I invested myself in failed. Without warning, each of them came to an end. As I sit and think about them, it reminds me of the transiency of life. Each day, we wake up and go about our business, often not thinking about "what if this ends? or what happens when it does?". Now, I'm not being morbid and talking about death; I just simply mean being someplace one day and then not being there the next. Being someone one day and then not being that person the next.

I think about every relationship and friendship I've had, and how when I was in the ones that are now ended, I never thought there was an ending coming. I couldn't have fathomed it because in that moment, it didn't seem possible. I think about how they influenced me, how they changed me, how they opened me up to something I had never experienced and yet, how I placed my stamp on them. I think about all the significant moments we shared--then wonder how it is possible to hold someone's intimate feelings one day and then not talk to them the next. It's a weird feeling. I understand that seasons change, and every person is not meant to stick around, but regardless, I carry them with me because of what they deposited in me. I would not be the same person I am today had I not met them.

I think about the environments I've been in and how they molded me, how placement mattered. Then I think like omg, I'm not there anymore. Even with the places I knew I would eventually leave, like school for example, it still feels weird not being able to in a sense, transport myself back to that place. 

So. What's the point of this blog post? Well, I guess, to say that life really does go on. Nothing lasts forever. You really do meet people, grow to love them and then let go of them, never to cross paths again. But you keep living. You really do fall in love with places you've been, even when you know you'll never return. And you keep living. You really do experience remarkable things, and you wish that it would be exactly that way forever, but life goes on. It doesn't mean that those people, places and experiences are not valuable or significant--it just means that you have more to experience, more growing to do, more things to love. I guess my point is to remember that whenever you wish you had a time machine. Forward is better than what is behind. <3 

 

Until next time, 

Fe